Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
