i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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