I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
