he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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