new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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