So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
