I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
