Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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