well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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