i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
