No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
