State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
