this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
