you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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