She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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