Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and she was petting her beer can
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
