Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Mom said you looked used
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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