talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
