My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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