Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize