i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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