You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
