Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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