Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
