you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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