Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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