I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
PANTIES FOUND
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