Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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