i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
