You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
