I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
