worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
