you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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