Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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