The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
