We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
