don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
