You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
