You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
