I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
