I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
