its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
