he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
