4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
