shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
