No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
