Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
