Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
