sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
