Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
