Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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