it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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