Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
