Apparently you make a good broom.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
