Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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