Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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