had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
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Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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