i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
