So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
