For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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