I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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