R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
