we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
