shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
