yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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