Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
