She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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