We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
