Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
