have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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