those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
