please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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